This month we are recognizing the family of Phil and Carol Duffy, fans of a book called “When God Winks at You.” As Phil says, it’s amazing how a free book found at St. Vincent DePaul brings attention to how God has led him through life via the many God Winks he received.
The first "God Wink" was the fortune of meeting his wife Carol in New Jersey on a New Year’s Eve blind date in 1957. Two years later they were married at ages 22 and 21. About 180 friends and family were invited to the wedding and after passing a large satin collection bag at the reception, they embarked on a two-night stay in the nearby Pocono Mountains. They emptied the cash from the bag and as fast as it came out Carol inserted the majority into prepared large envelopes marked Limo, Flowers, Band, Dinners, etc.... When the envelopes were full, there was about $60 left over. On the way home Phil bought a new set of golf clubs at Pep Boys for $29.95, so they started married life with a little over $30. Looking back neither of them had any doubts, they knew their faith in God and each other that it would prevail into a wonderful marriage.
After serving in the US Army as a Nike Missile Radar Operator, Phil returned and graduated The New Jersy State Police Academy in 1962. He served 8 years in law enforcement, 9 years as a volunteer fireman and 11 as a member of the Rumson NJ, First Aid Squad, where it was a great way to bond with other members and residents. If you were in a Vermont skiing accident, no problem, they would pick you up and literally bring you home.
The next incredible "God Wink," came with having their four children Jim, Karen, Kate, and Laura, six amazing grandchildren, and a great-granddaughter, Ava.
The children have embarked on different careers. Jim, a Copy Editor in NYC enjoys music with three albums, all self-composed. Karen, a host on MTV for 5 years, several movies, Revlon's Top Model and author of 4 books mainly on how to live with a debilitating disease she suffers from called Sarcoidosis. Kate, now a grandmother herself, worked in Sales and Marketing and has a passion for volunteering her time and efforts for Meals on Wheel and other charities. Laura heads recruitment for the National Chain Pep Boys for half the country and is a Certified Spinning Instructor. The family also hosted an 18-year-old female Vietnamese boat refugee for a year who spoke no English.
The next "God Wink" was a chance meeting with a man who introduced Phil to the shopping center industry. Phil joined The Rouse Company to open and manage shopping malls around the country. That decision in 1971 lasted 32 years and ended as VP in charge of the Operations and Leasing of 9 regional centers from Washington DC to Toronto Canada, including South Street Seaport in NYC and Faneuil Hall in Boston.
The next "God Wink" was the “Big One”, when Phil attended a Cursillo in Newark, NJ. The 4 days and nine talks changed his whole outlook on life, as he realized how Christian men are supposed to live, along with answering the question "Why was I Born?”. Phil served on 4 Cursillos, culminating in being Rector for over 40 men on a weekend. The following year Carol was the Rector for the Woman's weekend. For 20 years, they were in a six-couple prayer group that met every other Wednesday which certainly helped them to grow their faith.
The next "God Wink" was finding St. Peter on Commitment Sunday. After floating from parish to parish for years and never finding the right parish, they stumbled into St. Peter where over fifteen ministries were represented in the hall registering helpers. The head of our greeters and Thursday morning Men’s Group, Mark Ehmer, was manning a table and Phil was so impressed with Mark that he and Carol joined the Parish. Phil became a greeter and is a regular attendee of the Thursday morning Men’s Group, which he recommends for all men in the parish to give it a try.
Another “God Wink” was being invited to join the St. Peter Knights by Grand Knight and close friend Ken Kotansky. Phil never imagined how he would enjoy the close brotherhood experience selling Tootsie Rolls outside Publix, and cooking hot dogs for 4 hours at Roger Dean Stadium.
Phil and Carol have a passionate evening ritual praying for the family and friends that have passed before them. They approach their respective bedsides, silently go through the funeral mass cards accumulated over the years and pray for their souls.
Carol has over 60 and Phil has about 30. One day, Phil noticed that Carol's collection had four of his friends. Upon confronting her stating they were his buddies, Carol quickly reminded him: "these are not baseball cards".
Carol and Phil share many activities. She was a Travel Agent for 26 years, and loves her art and golf. She has won many awards, including last October winning the Florida State Senior Golf Championship in the 85+ category. Phil loves horse racing, hockey (played Goaltender until age 55), golf, and sports memorabilia. At one point he owned baseball seats from 7 different Major League ballparks that were torn down, that included Yankee Stadium, Ebbets Field and the Polo Grounds. The highlight of his collection was the Uniform the Yankees gave Mickey Mantle when he retired on Mickey Mantle Day in 1969 at the Stadium.
Carol and Phil feel blessed, are looking forward to celebrating their 65th Wedding Anniversary this coming June.
This is truly an amazing family, and one that all of us at St. Peter are proud to be associated with. Let us hope that God winks on all of us like He has with the Duffy family.